The Teacher In Me

(Hey! So it was a year ago since I wrote something here. How lazy of me. Hahaha! And since I'm getting the inspiration to write again, I'm posting one new entry here.)

Romel L. Pachejo

Teacher 1

Early last year, I tried to gamble on the opportunity to go back here in Cebu and applied for a Teacher 1 position. Well, I was one of the fortunate ones to be hired (thanks to my scholarship? haha).

To be honest, I had really my doubts on teaching in a public high school that time. I felt I was not really matured enough to handle students that are immature and has no sense of responsibility. Even my colleagues  at the state university I previously worked as a part-time instructor discouraged me at first due to many reasons which I prefer not to mention. But pushed by my eagerness to help my sister in her college studies and for a more stable job, I threw everything aside and accepted the challenge.

Yes, my very first motivation was the salary. Seems a very money-centered reason for others, but I will say that is on the practicality side of things. I could save for my future as well as help my mother and sister financially. With these in mind, I convinced myself this was a good move.

When I first entered the school where I'll be teaching, I had goosebumps all over me. Five years before that year, I graduated from this very institution (yes, I'm an alumnus of the school) and I'm going back to do what my former teachers did. Also, the very fact that some of my teachers are now my colleagues was very intimidating. I was thinking that time if I will be able to handle the pressure well.

When I had my first class, I was very nervous. I was doubting if these students will see me as a person with authority rather than a new classmate (I really look like a high school student still). I could see in their faces that they could not believe that the person in front of them is actually the one who will teach them. I was given four sections to handle, all fourth year. I taught Physics on the three sections and Math on one section. Wow that was a nerve-racking moment for me.

After a few months, I was able to adjust but going through your first year of teaching was not an easy road. I had undergone many heartaches and disappointments along the way. Let me share some of my experiences.

1. When I reprimand my students, they just ignore it. Yes I know they will be silent as you tongue-lash them, but at the back of their head they're thinking, "Wa juy angay magsuko-suko si sir, di jud kahadlukan." I had one of my students confess this to me.

2. I felt insulted a couple of times and cried in front of my class. When I go back to that incident, I feel like an idiot, and I'm guessing that's what my students thought so too that time.

3. I do not know how to control my emotions whenever I was disappointed with my classes, and they will talk back to me and I will immaturely hurl an insult back.

4. I felt that my students really didn't take me seriously at some point.

But what made me last through the school year? After pondering on what really am I aiming when I decided to be a teacher, I felt that deep inside me there's a desire to help. I want to be an instrument for them to learn. I want to help them realize that through education they will have a ticket to a brighter future (talk about a cliche, hahaha). I want them to realize that there's more to life and that they can shape their future. With these thoughts in mind, I set aside all my frustrations and did my best to help my students reach their full potential. During discussions, if the situation provides it, I relay to them my experiences when I was still a student like them. I made them realize that they can make it, despite the odds. Outside the class, I opened up a little to them and through this, they also learned to open up to me and ask for advice. I became friends with many of them eventually.

Now I'm on my second year of teaching and so far, so good. I may still be after the salary but now I 'm more determined to be the teacher I aimed to be. Seeing your students graduate and go back saying they will be doing their best in college makes me love my profession more. The feeling you get when they still ask for guidance and help from you is just heart-warming and fulfilling. I'm prouder now to say that that I'm a Teacher 1 of Cabancalan NHS. And because of this, I can finally say that I will not be quitting. Never ever.

One year down. Many more to go!